Well good morning girls.....I'm feeling somewhat better today but still not sleeping well. The last time I looked at the clock (this morning...lol) it was 1:40 something and the alarm went off at 6:00. The bad thing about it is that I am working today on 4 hours of sleep. man...don't you feel sorry for those teens...lol.
I think I may know whats wrong. I have been doing some research on bipolar disorder and I have every symptom. If there is anyone out there in blogland that knows anything about bipolar......please email me. Monday and tuesday were the worst yet. I have always blamed it on PMS, hormones, ,etc. but I have been watching my attitude, mood swings the last few days and and literally one minute I am happy go lucky and 15 minutes later crying. it's not a good feeling especially now that I am aware of it. I have made everyone around me miserable for years and didn't even realize it was me. Please email me if you know anything about this disorder and/or know anyone that does. I will say if it is, I think it's a serious but mild case.
Ok, so on to my reason to post........we had 8 teens last nights and the 8 we had were very attentative, eager to hear what God has to say through Mike. But anyway, Mike spoke on COMMITMENT......oh did it hit me like a rock. He really brought out some good points and we both got in the car and said we enjoyed the lessons ourselves. As I was sitting there listen to him myself, I came to realize that even with this calling God has placed on our family (yes I think the boys need to be commited also.) , I need to be just as committed as Mike. I have got to get out of the mindset of I don't want any part of this to being fully committed to it. Being happy for where God has placed us. If those kids see it in us then they will be even more excited about being there. So OK GOD....I'm committing myself to it and will be by husbands side as he continues to do what you have called him to do. Help me lord to see things through your eyes and not my own. I ask your to help me overcome this illness that I am experiencing. I know it's not in your will for me to live like this. in in your holy name I pray, AMEN.
Trying to stay committed,
Lisa
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3 comments:
Hey girl.....wow, I think you should definately seek out some professional help on this one. BUT, I will tell you, I went through a huge battle of depression after my second daughter was born. I tried Prozac but didn't seem to do much for me. For me, it was truly a "God issue". I was allowing circumstances to effect my relationship with Christ in a negative way and I allowed the devil to put his foot into my life...not a good thing. I allowed other people to make me feel yucky about myself because I couldn't "keep up" with them financially, socially or even sometimes religiously. BUT then....I really learned to fall in LOVE with Jesus, and it all seemed to fade away quickly! I surely can tell you I still have some pms issues, but ultimately I give GOD the glory for the healing of my heart.....the heart has to heal before the mind can. But I will be praying for you. Write it out, daily, let your blog or a journal be your daily cry to the Lord! I know it's hard to focus on prayer in times like this so sometimes you just have to make yourself do it. I find typing to be much faster than actually writing it out, so I do a lot on the computer, but you have to do whatever works for you!! Sending you lot's of hugs and prayers!!
Hey Lisa - I have a friend that is bipolar. I will ask her to pray about contacting you. My gut is that she will not speak out, but I will ask her to pray about it.
Lifting you up!! Leigh
Have you done the Battlefield of the Mind study yet? It will set your path straight girl - worked for me and for another friend that I recently passed it to. She stopped me just before school started and said, "May I tell you that book that you shared with me changed the way I view everything?"
Get on it..you will be glad that you did.
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