Ok.......so i am back into the blogging world. We still do not have phone, tv or internet access at home so Id ecided when I got to the library that I would devote all my time to my blogging friends.
So much has happen in the last few weeks or should I say over the last couple of months so I will try to update you on it all. As you can see by my blogs I have been riding an emotional roller coaster. Out lives have been turn upside down in the last 2 months. As I sat there yesterday thinking of all that has taking place, I specifically remember the day I prayed for God's will in our lives. I was standing in the kitchen looking out the window. (I do alot of thinking while washing dishes and taking a shower...lol) Our lives seemed as though it was at a stand still, we were enjoying church and everyday life but was going no where spiritually and doing the call that God had called my husband to do.....but anyway......I ask the lord whay exactly was his will for our lives, I told him I knew Mike had a place in ministry but I couldn't understand why he wasn't fulfilling it to the fullest. I asked God to put us into the center of his will, to do whatever he had to do to get us where we needed to be. Well, well, well.......be careful for what you ask for. Everyone that has been keeping up with me during this journey knows the story of the revelation my husband got during the revival. I did not know how to handle this because me and my kids (and my husband too) were very happy where we were at. I finally made a call to my pastor and was telling him what was going on and he instantly without hesitation said he thought it was a GOD THING. He told us that if we thought this was a true calling of God that he gives us his blessings and would release us into this ministry. My heart was torn.......I did not want to hear him say that.....I cried the rest of the conversation. Ya see.....that great church we were attneding believes in releasing people into the ministry, letting them go to do God work. To make a long story short we decided to leave last sunday Aug. 26. Out children were involved in some things with the church and we upheld our obligations and decided not to waste any time and try to procrastinate on what God was calling us to do. It was the saddest day of my life....The church had a prayer over us and sent us out with their blessings......I cried all day sunday and cried myself to sleep sunday night, not because I don't want to be in God's will but why would he take me and my family out of where we were so happy and around people that loved us so much. Don't get me wrong......I want to be in the will of God but could not understand why I wasn't seeing what my husband was seeing in all this.
My children have been great during all this......I know they are going to miss all there friends they have made but I think they will adjust fine. They know that this is a divine calling.
Well on monday morning, Satan decided to put his 2 cents worth and had me emotionally upset over this whole thing......I did not want to be married into this nor did I want any part of it. It has been a struggle for me but I have decided to be a help mate to my husband and willing to stand by him.....I have asked him to help me understand what the lord is showing him and I wanted him to try to understand that I don't see it as he does. We have come into an agreement that we will work this out together with the help of our lord Jesus Christ. I have decided that I have to get in the word more and letting God lead and direct me. I have been reading proverbs and boy have my eyes been opened. You are probably thinking.....man, she has never read proverbs......NO...I HAVEN'T and I have really throughly enjoyed it.
We attended the church that we will be attending last night and it was very different........1.)different from what we have been used to the last 14 months and 2.) just knowing we were where God wanted us.......it really made a difference.
I still desire the prayers of everyone who reads this because I was once told that when you are in the center of God's will, you are in midst of the strongest storm. I know it won't be easy because we are doing God' s work and satan doesn't like it.
I hope I have shedded some light on the last couple of weeks af my life. God never promised that the cross would not get heavy and the hill would not be hard to climb but victory would always come in time.
Love yall,
Lisa
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Tired of being PRIDEFUL
Hey Yall,
I haven't forgot about yall......I have just been through hell these last few weeks. (emotionally speaking) I will post later and explain it all because right now my phone is disconnected. With our phone company....if it gets disconnected...you have no phone, no t.v. and no internet. Just pray for us right now. Pray for provision, direction, financial wisdom. I am at the library right now using their computer but don't have the time to post what I really want to say......I will try to post more soon...in the meantime......PRAY.
Lisa
I haven't forgot about yall......I have just been through hell these last few weeks. (emotionally speaking) I will post later and explain it all because right now my phone is disconnected. With our phone company....if it gets disconnected...you have no phone, no t.v. and no internet. Just pray for us right now. Pray for provision, direction, financial wisdom. I am at the library right now using their computer but don't have the time to post what I really want to say......I will try to post more soon...in the meantime......PRAY.
Lisa
Monday, August 13, 2007
Just confused................................
Well, how is everyone this morning.Hope this finds everyone doing well. I am just enjoying some quiet time.Believe it or not, it's 11:10 and my boys are still in the bed. Man, they are going to have it rough when they have to start school next week.
Well, not too much has changed in my life. Still confused as to what to do about everything. I shouldn't be confused, if God said do it then we shall do it but we are human. Mike admits, he is as confused as I am. We go to church yesterday and we both feel like we are being shunned. What's up with that? We have been happy all this time and then we walk in after this revelation and BAM.....it's like everyone knows. (I know they don't, but that's the way it feels) We go to revival last night and he has the altar call, we respond and it seems like he prayed for everyone but us. I don't know why I am feeling like this-this morning but I am. It's not a pity party mood----it's almost like God has sat us here and said okay......the ball is in your court....now run with it. the problem is I think we are to fearful of being obediant in picking it up.
We had a talk with the evangelist the other night and he in a round about way said that Mike has got to show me he means business with all this. Well Mike has shown me in some areas but not in others......one for instance......just a scenerio.......if he was divinely called to minister to the youth then wouldn't he have a heart to be down in the altar with them while they need ministering to. I am just confused.....I think I am putting too much faith in man and not God. Just being real this morning. Please continue to pray for us.......this is some real deal stuff we are facing here. Our life has been turn upside down and basically put into reverse. It's like go back and fix what you broke up.
I know this probaly not the kind of post you were expecting but I am FRUSTRATED, CONFUSED, WEARY, FEARFUL AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AT THIS POINT.
KEEP PRAYING,
Lisa
Well, not too much has changed in my life. Still confused as to what to do about everything. I shouldn't be confused, if God said do it then we shall do it but we are human. Mike admits, he is as confused as I am. We go to church yesterday and we both feel like we are being shunned. What's up with that? We have been happy all this time and then we walk in after this revelation and BAM.....it's like everyone knows. (I know they don't, but that's the way it feels) We go to revival last night and he has the altar call, we respond and it seems like he prayed for everyone but us. I don't know why I am feeling like this-this morning but I am. It's not a pity party mood----it's almost like God has sat us here and said okay......the ball is in your court....now run with it. the problem is I think we are to fearful of being obediant in picking it up.
We had a talk with the evangelist the other night and he in a round about way said that Mike has got to show me he means business with all this. Well Mike has shown me in some areas but not in others......one for instance......just a scenerio.......if he was divinely called to minister to the youth then wouldn't he have a heart to be down in the altar with them while they need ministering to. I am just confused.....I think I am putting too much faith in man and not God. Just being real this morning. Please continue to pray for us.......this is some real deal stuff we are facing here. Our life has been turn upside down and basically put into reverse. It's like go back and fix what you broke up.
I know this probaly not the kind of post you were expecting but I am FRUSTRATED, CONFUSED, WEARY, FEARFUL AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AT THIS POINT.
KEEP PRAYING,
Lisa
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Is he calling us to something new ?????
Well......good morning my blogger friends. It has been awhile since I have posted. I have read the blogs everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day but just couldn't bring myself to post. It seems like God has had his hand over my mouth for a couple of weeks now. Ya know.....when God tells you to hush, you better listen to him....lol.
Well, well, well.....I just don't know where to start. As I look back on my previous post, I came across "change is never fun and change is not automatic" and I just chuckled in my spirit. So anyway here it goes.
About 2 years ago, my husband and I went through something (well actually my husband but it affected me just as well) and it totally turn our lives up side down and he was out of the will of God. We knew, he knew, everyone that knew what we were going through, knew this was totally out of character for him. Well to make a long story short......God begin to work it all out and we could see his hand in it all the way. Well as we were fighting a battle in our personal life, our church life started to crumble....it seems the more we tried to serve in the church, the worst things got. Well when it comes to my children.......I am very sensitive. Aren't we all ???? To try to shorten this a little.....we went to our pastor at that time and it just seemed to us the more we said about the situation with the youth, the worst things got. To make a long story short....we left the church because I felt like our children deserved more spiritually. They were not getting what they needed. Within one months time we started going to the church we are presently attending now. 14 months has past, we have grown stronger in the lord, our children are happy, we are on the greeters committe and I have my little missionette girls to whom I love so much. Well about 3 weeks ago (when this revival started here in CF which is going into it's 4th week by the way), about the 2nd or 3rd night into it I came home all confused (SATAN) and just couldn't pray, distrought and drowning in self-pity. Well the next morning, all though I felt like my prayers were not even reaching the ceiling must less the throne room of God, I begin to pour my heart to God and I told him just this......."God I don't understand what this is I am going through but I know you know what you are doing. Are we NOT in your will or what's the deal ???? Why am I feeling like this? I want to be in your will, I want my family to be in your will and most of all I want Mike to serve you whole heartedly. Tell me God what it is that we are supposing to be doing or not doing or what. God I can't go on like this....tell us, knock us in the head, do something, I don't like feeling like this. I am putting my whole life into your hands....tells us what it is you want us to do. I want us to be in your will....it's all up to you now." And that is how I prayed.......short and to the point.....girls, I was MISERABLE.
I think I fail to mention that this revival is being held at the church that we left 15 months ago......so now you probably see where I am headed with this post........ah hah !!!!! The night all this happened, a lady came up to us and told us (in love) that she felt like God was telling her to tell us that we belong back there. I have got to admit......in my heart I was like uh, uh, uh I don't think so but we took it in love. I asked Mike when we got in the car, what do you think, he said I don't know, I do miss that church and I love the people but I feel like COC is where we are supposed to be. (Let me mention, he was failing to tell me something at this point in fear of the way I would react) So anyway for the next 3 weeks God blesses us with his word in this revival and we are just strolling along taking it all in.......little did I know God was revealing stuff to Mike. I should have known God was up to something......when he shut my mouth and didn't allow me to nag Mike about anything.....lol
On monday night.........his sermon was on 'Why settle for Leah when you can have Rachel?" I am not going to sit here and act like I know this story in the bible because I don't, but what I gathered out of this was God was telling us" Why settle for less when I have more for you?" I am trying my best to make this short but i want you to know the whole thing because we need some powerful prayer warriors with us on this journey. So annnnyyyyyway........during the alter call Mike and I go down to be prayed for and God through the evangelist tells us this........"you have gotten mad in the past and picked up your kick ball and went home." Does this just not give you cold chills? He (evangelist) went on to to tell Mike that he (Mike) knows in his heart what it is supposed to be doing and he needs to take a stand as the spiritual head of the house. I am crying my eyes out at this point because I felt like I knew where this was going. On our way home........Mike reveals to me that about 4 different people over the last 4 or 5 weeks has approached him and told him that they felt like God was using them to tell him that he and his family belong back at that church. One of these people was the pastor........he told him that before we packed our bags and left, he was planning on making Mike the youth pastor of that church. he said he was stuck between a rock and hard place with the former person that was in the position of a youth worker (not a pastor). She is no longer even at the church because everything we were telling him came to surface and he seen it with his own 2 eyes. We feel like God moved us out of the situation, moved us to where we could grow stronger in him, feed our children the word, to move her out in his timing. So where does that put us ?????? You got it......the pastor wants Mike to take over the youth.....from ground up......their youth group is completely depleted. He said he would make him youth pastor and the sky was the limit as to what he felt like God could use him to do. He told us that we needed to do what we felt like our hearts were telling us to do but that he had trust and confidence in him to give him the rope and et him run with it. Did I mention in my prayer (that I didn't think that was reaching past the ceiling) that we wanted to be in his will ? LOL Yall, this is so hard because we have grown to love the people at COC, we are happy, our children are happy, everything is great in our eyes of the churchworld. My question and purpose of this whole post is why would God moved us from where we are so happy and our children are happy? My 15 year old said that that the evangelist prayed for him and told him that that mom and dad are fixing to go through a change and that he wanted him to just try to go with the flow......see how God is working? My 15 yr.old fell in head first @ COC and loves it. He tolds us he didn't want to leave his youth group but he would do whatever we decided to do.
Girls....PLEASE don't take this lightly......help me pray that whatever Mike chooses to do that I will submit to him and what he thinks is right for our family. I am trying my best not to offer any negative comments to him. I don't want to leave but I want to be in the will of God.......Please post your comments..........this is so hard.
Wanting to be in his will,
Lisa
Well, well, well.....I just don't know where to start. As I look back on my previous post, I came across "change is never fun and change is not automatic" and I just chuckled in my spirit. So anyway here it goes.
About 2 years ago, my husband and I went through something (well actually my husband but it affected me just as well) and it totally turn our lives up side down and he was out of the will of God. We knew, he knew, everyone that knew what we were going through, knew this was totally out of character for him. Well to make a long story short......God begin to work it all out and we could see his hand in it all the way. Well as we were fighting a battle in our personal life, our church life started to crumble....it seems the more we tried to serve in the church, the worst things got. Well when it comes to my children.......I am very sensitive. Aren't we all ???? To try to shorten this a little.....we went to our pastor at that time and it just seemed to us the more we said about the situation with the youth, the worst things got. To make a long story short....we left the church because I felt like our children deserved more spiritually. They were not getting what they needed. Within one months time we started going to the church we are presently attending now. 14 months has past, we have grown stronger in the lord, our children are happy, we are on the greeters committe and I have my little missionette girls to whom I love so much. Well about 3 weeks ago (when this revival started here in CF which is going into it's 4th week by the way), about the 2nd or 3rd night into it I came home all confused (SATAN) and just couldn't pray, distrought and drowning in self-pity. Well the next morning, all though I felt like my prayers were not even reaching the ceiling must less the throne room of God, I begin to pour my heart to God and I told him just this......."God I don't understand what this is I am going through but I know you know what you are doing. Are we NOT in your will or what's the deal ???? Why am I feeling like this? I want to be in your will, I want my family to be in your will and most of all I want Mike to serve you whole heartedly. Tell me God what it is that we are supposing to be doing or not doing or what. God I can't go on like this....tell us, knock us in the head, do something, I don't like feeling like this. I am putting my whole life into your hands....tells us what it is you want us to do. I want us to be in your will....it's all up to you now." And that is how I prayed.......short and to the point.....girls, I was MISERABLE.
I think I fail to mention that this revival is being held at the church that we left 15 months ago......so now you probably see where I am headed with this post........ah hah !!!!! The night all this happened, a lady came up to us and told us (in love) that she felt like God was telling her to tell us that we belong back there. I have got to admit......in my heart I was like uh, uh, uh I don't think so but we took it in love. I asked Mike when we got in the car, what do you think, he said I don't know, I do miss that church and I love the people but I feel like COC is where we are supposed to be. (Let me mention, he was failing to tell me something at this point in fear of the way I would react) So anyway for the next 3 weeks God blesses us with his word in this revival and we are just strolling along taking it all in.......little did I know God was revealing stuff to Mike. I should have known God was up to something......when he shut my mouth and didn't allow me to nag Mike about anything.....lol
On monday night.........his sermon was on 'Why settle for Leah when you can have Rachel?" I am not going to sit here and act like I know this story in the bible because I don't, but what I gathered out of this was God was telling us" Why settle for less when I have more for you?" I am trying my best to make this short but i want you to know the whole thing because we need some powerful prayer warriors with us on this journey. So annnnyyyyyway........during the alter call Mike and I go down to be prayed for and God through the evangelist tells us this........"you have gotten mad in the past and picked up your kick ball and went home." Does this just not give you cold chills? He (evangelist) went on to to tell Mike that he (Mike) knows in his heart what it is supposed to be doing and he needs to take a stand as the spiritual head of the house. I am crying my eyes out at this point because I felt like I knew where this was going. On our way home........Mike reveals to me that about 4 different people over the last 4 or 5 weeks has approached him and told him that they felt like God was using them to tell him that he and his family belong back at that church. One of these people was the pastor........he told him that before we packed our bags and left, he was planning on making Mike the youth pastor of that church. he said he was stuck between a rock and hard place with the former person that was in the position of a youth worker (not a pastor). She is no longer even at the church because everything we were telling him came to surface and he seen it with his own 2 eyes. We feel like God moved us out of the situation, moved us to where we could grow stronger in him, feed our children the word, to move her out in his timing. So where does that put us ?????? You got it......the pastor wants Mike to take over the youth.....from ground up......their youth group is completely depleted. He said he would make him youth pastor and the sky was the limit as to what he felt like God could use him to do. He told us that we needed to do what we felt like our hearts were telling us to do but that he had trust and confidence in him to give him the rope and et him run with it. Did I mention in my prayer (that I didn't think that was reaching past the ceiling) that we wanted to be in his will ? LOL Yall, this is so hard because we have grown to love the people at COC, we are happy, our children are happy, everything is great in our eyes of the churchworld. My question and purpose of this whole post is why would God moved us from where we are so happy and our children are happy? My 15 year old said that that the evangelist prayed for him and told him that that mom and dad are fixing to go through a change and that he wanted him to just try to go with the flow......see how God is working? My 15 yr.old fell in head first @ COC and loves it. He tolds us he didn't want to leave his youth group but he would do whatever we decided to do.
Girls....PLEASE don't take this lightly......help me pray that whatever Mike chooses to do that I will submit to him and what he thinks is right for our family. I am trying my best not to offer any negative comments to him. I don't want to leave but I want to be in the will of God.......Please post your comments..........this is so hard.
Wanting to be in his will,
Lisa
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